I've heard the crows "ha-ha-ing" early in the morning. Just before sunrise, and just as my italian espresso-maker begins to gurgle and spit today's premonitions, I'm there with a sponge to manage the stovetop overflow, but there's also the side glimpse of the NY Times as I ascertain today's coffee grinds.
I glided past the back door with coffee in hand to sit and read today's news, in my daily ritual of a TBD caffeinated expression... noting it's happened two days in a row now. That creepy "ha-ha-ing" by the crows amidst my usual morning ritual in the yard- waking up to the world with my witches' brew. There was just enough light to not just focus on what lingered in the shadows, but the crows almost sounded like a group of nosey neighbors talking about me behind my back. These "did anyone see / hear that" moments are what propel me to write in the first place as I'm sipping my own casero style of an "Americano" as an airplane flies overhead. But taking a few blinks amidst fresh air, reviewing the day's to-do's for our TBD existence.
We're trying to find a new norm to restructure how we all maneuver. Nobody knows what's going to happen- much less what to do next. It's all suddenly become a strange choose your adventure at the last minute type of scenario. Simply aspiring to put things in some sort of imaginary order when we're suddenly so vaklempt. WHAT imagination?
I had always thought "Silent Night" was a Christmas hymn. I know the first two verses by heart, and can recall that weekly Saturday ritual going out into the yard to review the weekly night sky- as a teenager living in Suburbia. But these days it's weird to be living in a flight path, but hearing far fewer planes in passing. To be able to hear every siren in the distance, to google what bird has an orange chest, and spot what was apparently an American Robin. To feel a bit creeped out by these silent nights and mornings. Whether with or without birds on a wire.
Everything we've engaged in and known is about to undo / recalibrate itself. The planes used to come every 5-7 minutes- more commercial ones than passenger types. There's yet thankfully some occasional distractions passing thru, and today I spotted a speedy gonzalez squirrel flashing it's best Usain Bolt 30M dash along the back fence. And I was sad there wasn't time to give him a high five, BUT it's weird to imagine my usual ritual- to include my morning one- outside on the phone speaking to contractors or vendors before my scramble to the office- become null and void.
Today it felt ultra creepy wondering if this was the new norm. And joke's on us?
"HOLD ON for dear life", says the little snail. Think he was living in the kitchen cabinet although I found him in the sink)
I've seen the full moon hovering this past week trying to figure out if it was waxing or waning. Also noting I've found other forms of company at the house to include a snail in my kitchen sink that really depicted how I felt, and a massive FLY that proceeded to buzz all over and hover over a momento in Portugal- on my wall of fame by my desk noting that OF the 10 hexagons, the one it chose as it's launchpad says POPULI. As if knowing exactly what it was trying to indicate...pointing us all in the directions like a bee's waggle dance aka sending smoke signals to every other bee. Still have yet to figure out whether the fly was naysayer / believer / whistleblower, but seemed it had something to say - and we all have plenty to unload at this point. Maybe it too.
Suffice to say there are a ton of changes going on. No longer are we horses with blinders, nor just passing thru, but a very large constellation of deer in headlights.
When you have time, you have bandwidth- if even to pay closer attention to your immediate surroundings. With more of it on hand, I've also seen the mailman / delivery guys / my Landlord / randos passing thru my peripheral-via the reflection of my computer. My only in-person conversation yesterday entailed raising my bedroom window around 8am-ish trying to warn a stranger picking through our recyclables of the broken glass that I cut my finger on 3x. PLEASE VERY CAREFUL as there's a lot of dangerously small and large pieces of glass in that bag. First in English- and then in Spanish, which thankfully got the point across. But I also saw a 3rd floor neighbor at 409 hanging out of her window with feet dangling- in quarantine. AND there's of course been the instant increase of facemasks making their debut across the reflection of my imac and our streets on a daily.
It's all so chilling...
YESTERDAY was SHOCKED by all the pedestrians moseying about and appearing to embrace the break of a pre-mature spring and completely un-phased and showing no clue nor regard any sort of virus outbreak. Turned a corner off of Metropolitan in Williamsburg, and people were standing in clusters- maybe 2-3 feet apart waiting for takeout. Several others just doot dee doing if not just passing thru. Parked @ the light, I was just as surprised to watch a girl chit chatting on her ear piece while photographing the oddity of it all. And forget about McCarren Park! I saw babies in strollers, minions walking with their parents, owners with their dogs, and what appeared to be everyone under the sun- with no regard of it potentially not setting tomorrow. Looked like a picnic parade with spring in full swing!
In short, it's hard not to ask WHY all of this suddenly- much less know how to settle that deeply-ridden fear. We can but only manage so much based on day, episode, and moments at a time with no standard or protocol despite previous expectations.
NO one wants a tragic and serious unraveling of us all. So it's time to give several shits about everyone other than ourselves. TO the point of confining ourselves.
With every self is a another someone else. BUT birds don't belong in cages, and nor do humans. BUT limiting our physical contact with others slows the transmission of this deadly virus. We are amidst VERY different times. TO the point of stepping aside / purposely avoiding others for everyone's safety and health. Especially if you have dependents and family, you should be extra mindful.
YOOooo... rough times lately to say the least. I cut my middle finger so badly the other day it wouldn't stop gushing blood for almost half an hour. Paper towel after paper towel, I couldn't help but compare it to the global bleeding worldwide, this sudden emergency status and panic mode. Needing to wipe the slate clean, and our attempts at rationing perishables, necessities, and even our jobs. Seems that neither our system, nor that of any other country is equipped to fight and squash this virus which is turning our world completely upside down by the second. There is so much uncertainty with all this, and perhaps a bit too much to think about, that I'm hoping you make a bit of menial checkout time for yourself to tune out the
- and find a temporary bit of inner peace. We are all suddenly shell-shocked in perpetuity and moving @ snail's pace.
#DEERINHEADLIGHTS #PEACE&SANITYPLEASE
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